i am chicken.

In my humble opinion chickens are proof that vegetarianism is pure silliness. They have brains the size a peas, can function without their head, are ugly, smell disgusting, and sound ridiculous. The only good reason that I can come up with for their pathetic existance is that they make a nice soup, taste good on the BBQ, and supply us with eggs.

I think it is safe to say that my strong dislike of chickens stems from the fact that they are my weakness when it comes to being a 'farm girl.' I love to think that I am a classic 'home grown on the farm' child. I know how to drive a tractor, plant a field, milk cows, unload hay, scrape the feed, the whole nine yards... but when it comes to chickens I fall apart at the seams. Me and chickens, we've had quite the relationship in the last 20 years...

It all started out when I was about 9 years old and my dad gave me the job of raising 100 little chicks. Well, if I could have been able to tell them apart I would have named them all, but since I couldn't, I gave them all the name Fred (I didn't know they were all girls). These fluffy little yellow puffs won over my heart instantly. That summer I fed them twice a day, sung them little songs at night, and picked fresh grass for a special treat. My parents started to worry about how attached I was getting and they didn't know how to break it to me that the destiny of these chickens was our freezer, so they didn't. Instead they sent me off to my friend Leanne's house on the fatal day. Murphy's Law prevailed and I came home a little before schedule and was welcomed with the site of my Freds without heads, hanging upside down and featherless. I screamed and I ran to the coop just in time to see Fred getting his head chopped off by Dad. It was a bad day.

The next year the weasels got them and the year after that they committed cannibalism and ate eachother. I soon learnt to not get attached to chickens and I went to the next extreme, I would help in the butchering of the chickens. My job was to cut the neck bone off of the already plucked and gutted chicken, simple enough task. The first three went well, but the forth had it in for me. A freshly killed chicken is pretty slippery... slippery chicken + sharp knife + Katrina = disaster for Katrina's wrist. Instead of chopping the chicken I chopped my wrist. It was a bad day.

I decided that I didn't like chickens and refused to have anything to do with them. They had hurt me far too many times. Little did I know that I was soon to be repulsed my them. If you have never seen I chicken lay an egg, kudos to you, eat your egg in peace. I have, and I still have a hard time choking down eggs. I have been blessed with an overactive imagination that sometimes gets the best of me...

Then there was chicken catching. One night, 16,000 chickens, 16 teenagers, and one truck. Chicken catching is probably one of the most sereal, horrible jobs I have ever done. By the end of the night you are carrying eight chickens, four in each hand, purposely giving them brain freeze and siezures, and playing the occasional game of catch - it makes you turn into a monster. For the next week you are coughing up feathers and chicken crap. Also you can't eat chicken for at least a year, well at least I couldn't... once again I'll blame it on the overactive imagination.

Today was chicken killing day. I opted to pick the beans from the garden, snap and bag them. Sadly I couldn't escape the smell and the sounds of the Fred exclaiming his last words. It was a bad day.

Chickens are my weakness, I can't handle them. True farm girl? Perhaps not.

and the sky is not cloudy all day

My dreams of battling evil with Transformers by my side were rudely interrupted by some famous person rocking on the radio; it was time to get up to get ready for church. Sunday mornings at the deGroot house are much like home, the battle for the bathroom, blow-dryers all going at once, having to drinking your orange juice with already brushed teeth, sharing of the coloured comics... except for the fact that we arrived at church on time. The pastor’s message was a memorable one, delivered with confidence, passion, and a wicked accent (maybe my word choice isn’t the most appropriate). After church we went back to the deGroots for Sunday pie and ice cream. Since Ryan and I were donned the guests of honour (Ontarians are a rare species in Alberta), we scored on having the option of having one of each pie and an extra scoop of ice cream! Of course I fully capitalized on this. Don’t worry Levi, if you ever come to Ontario you can have a whole apple pie to yourself with a tub of Rolo ice cream to top it off. That night we were invited to hang out with the gang at Lindsay’s house. I am pretty jealous of her house, because it is right next to a park and a baseball diamond. So, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to gel as a group playing a great game of baseball. Apparently everyone likes Ultimate Frisbee better, I do have to admit it’s a pretty stellar game; James I can see why you love ‘disk’ so much. We did play soccer baseball for a bit, although turning for two is a little more difficult when you have to throw a ball the size of your head. All this activity wore us out so we headed back to watch a lame Simpson episode; I am crushed by the lack of humour lately from Homer and the gang, so much so that I don’t even want to see the movie. Instead, we got our laughs watching Dodgeball.

Monday, Monday. Robo and I woke up with crack of dawn to prepare for camping. We had a great challenge ahead of us, to fit everything that we needed into one car that also needed to fit four people in it. I have to admit I was not very optimistic about it all, I thought for sure we would have to resort to plan B, tying Ryan and Tim to the roof rack. But we surprised everyone, even ourselves, by fitting everything in with room to spare. This room to spare didn’t last very long, because Tim thought it would be completely necessary to bring foam along to protect us from the jagged rocks while we sleep. I haven’t really made my mind up whether it was a wise decision, being squishy for about an hour and a half versus having gashes in my sides... On the way to our Waterton camping experience, we made a little detour to tour a Ladder Day Saint temple. The gardens were nice and the lady was very persistent, I think I must have had a sign on my forehead that says “I want to know everything you can tell me about the history of your religion and temple, oh and I also want all your pamphlets too.” They almost had me with the whole wide road thing, because if the roads that we have here on earth are going to be changed into gold that town is going to be worth trillions. And if it wasn’t for the secret spy cameras that we suspected they had hidden we would have snuck into the inner temple to see what they were hiding in there.

And then there were mountains. Mountains, what can I even begin to say to describe the feeling of seeing them for the first time. I won’t even try; I’ll be what I was for the last 45 minutes of the drive – speechless. Not only were there mountains but fields of wildflowers around them, so there was a mandatory moment to get out of the car to frolic, turn our gazes upwards, and let it all soak in. We have arrived. The next thing we had to do is find the perfect campsite, and find one we did. It had the perfect amount of trees, it was in the perfect location for bathroom and the water tap facilities, and it was the perfect size... there were a couple of times when a huge RV would slowly pass our campsite and throw daggers our way for occupying ‘their space’ with our beauty tent. The guys then went on a wood hunt and brought back loads of free firewood. We were pretty stoked about this until we found out we could pick up free forewood at the entrance. After settling in we took a little stroll down to the river, where we tested our throwing accuracy with rocks and trees, waded up to our ankles in ice, and Ryan left our mark with a Mento. All these happenings made us work up and appetite, so it was time for Ryan to grill us up some burgers. The first two burgers were the tastiest by far, and the rest were must have been good too because they made fast friends with the neighbours – especially Laney. Once supper was finished we thought it would be high time to hit up the town Waterton. If I could live anywhere when I am retired I think I would live there and take over the little fudge shop so that I can give free fudge to everyone passing through. This little town is surrounded by mountains and is on the edge of a lake. It is also a great place for a honeymoon – eh Danielle and Jordan? I think it would be only appropriate as it was the place where we all crowded around the phone booth to hear the fantastic news. By the lake there were stones, great skipping stones and great throwing stones, so of course I had to challenge Ryan and Tim to a throwing contest. They made me go first, which I was fine with. I casually set up and threw with ease at least half-way across the lake. They on the other hand, took a running start and propelled the rocks as far as they could. I have to admit that they did throw a little farther, and if we were going to measure it would have been about 5cm. I was pretty impressed. We then tested the accuracy of their throws by throwing a rock into the air and then trying to hit it before it hit the water. After we stopped playing with stones we decided to check out a store that sold special stones, worth $1000. In that same little shop they thought it would be hilarious to make me look like a fool. It involved a frozen TV screen and a random passerby... yup, all I have to say is that I am really glad I am full of myself or else I could have been damaged for life. It was getting dark so we decided to head back where we had an awesome campfire. Even though we did so much during the day and did so many memorable things, I think the campfire stands out, Robyn’s beautiful song, Tim playing the guitar, the great talks and laughs – it was golden.

The next morning I was the first one to wake up and there waiting to keep me company for the whole 3 minutes was Laney. Before I knew what he was doing he went up to the tent and unzipped it and told everyone else to get up. Gosh, I still think it’s hilarious, although if I would have been woken up like that I’m pretty sure I would have reacted just like Tim - telling him in no uncertain terms to get lost. We had bacon and eggs for breakfast and when Ryan offered to make the eggs, I responded by spraying him with hot bacon grease in appreciation. Great start to a great day. Today we went on a hike; this hike was not for amateurs. We crossed the BC border into foreign terrain where we crossed a raging river to conquer a waterfall and then went on to battle the glaciers and we did it all without those hiking spears that the ‘experts’ use. Waiting for us at the end of our hike was a great mountain with a crystal clear lake – it was breathtaking, in more ways than one for the guys. The reason that this lake is clear is because it is too cold for life to live in it, but Ryan and Tim decided to take a dip anyways. It was pretty amusing to watch, although the couple beside didn’t think so... they didn’t even break a smirk. Man, if I was hiking and I saw two hooligans jumping into a glacier lake in their boxers I would have a good laugh and even take home the tale to the super table that night. We also met Gordon the chipmunk, Ryan was the first one to coax him to eat the sunflower seeds out of his hand and then from there he became our best little buddy. He just kept stuffing those little cheeks in the cute chipmunky way. The hike was fantastic, no one got lost, except for Tim’s bag that we forgot that we left on the top of the car as we drove off singing away to The Barenaked Ladies. Jesse came down that night to hang out with us in his four wheel drive truck. That truck came in handy as on our way back to the campsite we saw an entire herd of about 200 elk cross the road into the field. So what do you do when there is a big herd of elk and you are in a truck? You chase the elk of course and so we did. It was a pretty bumpy ride as we raced through the long grass and ground hog holes, thrilling in fact. That night the guys went back to look for Tim’s bag, so me and Robo wrecked havoc around the campsite. When the guys came back we chilled by the campfire for a bit, but it wasn’t long before everyone headed off to bed, we were all tuckered out. But since I had thrown ten huge logs on the fire right before everyone decided to hit the hay the fire was still roaring, so I decided to stay up a bit longer and just enjoy the night. No complaints here, because I think I could stay up all night just looking up at the Alberta sky, especially at night when it seems like you can see every single star in the universe.

The next morning we weren’t woken up by Laney. There were pancakes for breakfast and if I wasn’t given a limit I probably would have eaten at least 10. Since we were supposed to be out of our campsite by 12pm, we decided that at 12:30pm we should probably start to pack up, especially considering a couple who had booked our site had already asked us when we were going to be leaving. We went on one last little hike through the red rock canyon. Good thing we had tour guide Jesse along for this one, we didn’t even need to read the information signs. And yet again the guys went swimming in the glacier water... We then said our good-byes to the little beautiful town of Waterton and to Tim’s bag. That night we went to see Tim play soccer, his team destroyed their opponents 9-1. I also got to hang out with my cousin Andrew, who is ranching in Alberta for the summer. We met at the Tim Hortens and when I got there all I could see was this tall guy in a flannel shirt and cowboy hat from behind, so I ran up and gave him a big hug, thankfully it was him and not just some other rancher. It was so great to catch up with him and see that he was doing great. Although his near death stories from riding broncos and bulls worry me a bit...

Since we have been going full tilt since the day that we got to Alberta, we decided that today would be a day where we just chilled and did nothing. Robyn and I headed over to Tim and Ryan’s to watch Madagascar, listen to the Live Earth David Gray and Damien Rice duo *sigh*, and just really doing nothing... it was nice. That night Robo and I spent time with her wonderful family. We watched LOTR and even though Levi was seeing it for the first time I think he handled the scary parts better than I did. After the movie we made Robyn’s birthday cake because it was her birthday the next day! I suggested that we should do something crazy in her last minutes as a 19 year old, we came up with skinny dipping in her neighbours dugout, but since we didn’t want to get shot we decided not to. Instead we talked about what the future might hold and all those good things chats like that entail.

Today was Robyn’s birthday! Robyn chose to have steak as her birthday supper. If there was only one thing that would make me come back to Alberta, it would be for Mr. deGroot’s steaks. They are the best I have ever had. But of course we had to wait a bit for supper, so in the meantime we listened to Ryan and Tim’s rocking rendition of Babylon - 'let go of your heart, let go of your head...', got in a great game of catch in with Ryan, and swum in the dugout with the family – the girls clearly defeated the guys in keep away. Then it was suppertime, mmmmm. I had the privilege of sharing my milk with King, he’s a such great sharer. Then the whole gang came on out for the campfire. Tim had to miss a bit of it to make the trek out to Waterton to retrieve his lost bag that was found! Except on the way he blew a tire... his luck just wasn’t improving, oh and I think I failed to mention the fact that he swam with his cell phone so that broke too. (Tim I’m putting this in just for you, I know that you would never want to forget a day like this). Once again the campfire was awesome. It was a great way of ending off our last time that we would all be together in Alberta. We didn’t get to sleep until 3am.

At 6am we woke up to get ready to pick up Ryan so that he could meet Uncle Henry in Calgary. On the drive up we were given a sweet lesson on recycling and sharing by Jack Johnson himself, what a guy. It was then time to say our good-bye’s to Ryan and watched him ride off into the distance... and then there was three. We were originally going to stay in Calgary for the day and night until I had to catch my flight the next morning, but then we decided to head on back to Lethbridge, something I was very happy to do! So that day we just chilled out at Robyn’s. I got to see the deck being completed and had one last swim in the dugout, one last supper, and one last campfire. The deGroots showed me how to make colourful fire and what a Rachellamellow is. Meaghan was the best marshmallow toaster. Sorry Josh, you would have come close if you hadn’t dropped that one in the fire. I am so glad that I had that last night with the family and that I got to say a proper good-bye, because I think the world of you all!
Once again Robo and I did not get very much sleep. That morning we woke up to someone singing about how great life was... at 3am in the morning that is the last thing that you want to hear. As we drove to Calgary we got to see the sunrise and I just want to state that Robyn deGroot is the best trooper I know. For the first hour I fought to keep my eyes open at times sticking my head out of the window, but then I promised myself that I just needed to rest my eyelids for 5 minutes... Through this all Robyn was able to drive on and get us safely there. Once we were at the airport I knew that it was time to say good-bye... good-bye to great people and great times. Airport good-byes are bitter like salt. My flight was a lot less exciting than the trip up, although I met some really nice people.

My family was waiting for me in Ottawa and it was so great to see them... It’s always a nice feeling to come home.

Our time out in Alberta was a dream in reality form. Thanks for making it what it was, I will remember it and you for always and forever.

tag you're it!

Shoot... in my grade school days I could outrun them all, but aparently Robyn's faster than the roadrunner.

I have been tagged and here are the rules… Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs the 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You need to tag seven others and list their names on your blog.

I've decided to make it a little more interesting and share 7 of my most deepest darkest secrets for everyone in cyberspace to read. Ready, set, negative.
Instead, here are some random tidbits about Katrina Joy VandenBerg for you all to enjoy:

1) I am a daydreamer. If you ever catch me just staring off into space, I'm mostly likely in my own little world creating a situation or story where I am the main character doing something grand and dramatic. It's a wonderful place where I have experienced nearly everything from surviving falling off a cliff to flying in a hotair balloon.
2) I am probably a little too stubborn and competetive for my own good. If someone tells me I can't do something, the next moment I am planning how I am going to prove them wrong. There have been the times when I fainted beating all my siblings in the 'holding your breath' contest, suffocated myself from trying to beat the world record of 6 saltine crackers in 30 seconds, tore up my legs from running through torn bushes just so that I wouldn't get caught in Capture the Flag, and making a little boy cry trying to win Capture the President at camp. The many summers playing ball and years of highschool sports have left the marks and scars to prove this competetive side, thankfully I have mellowed out a bit... a bit.
3) I still sleep with my teddy bears. Shh, don't tell too many people. I will always have a little soft spot for them in my heart. Who doesn't loose their heart to those beady little eyes and soft paws? Let alone the fact that they give the best hugs and can listen really well.
4) My favourite snack and all around food group is homemade chocolate chip cookies with a tall glass of milk. The chewy chocolate goodness washed down with a refreshing sip of creamy milk - delectible.
5) I love to just lay down and look at up at the stars on a clear night. There is something about the stars that gets to me. With millions of diamonds sparkling above us and wishing on the shooting stars. Nights like that make me feel a little closer to heaven.
6) I would classify myself as an extreme reader/movie watcher - I can get a little too into the plot. If it is a comedy, I laugh until I cry or, if it is drama, I am spellbound until the end, if it is a thriller/action, I jump at every bang, if it is a tragedy, I sob. There have been the times on the bus where I'm crying against the window just because it was time for Laura Ingalls to leave her family, sobbing into a pillow because the main character of the movie just died (Ladder 49, Armageddon), or the time where I spilt all my juice when the sniper in Bourne Identity pegs off the man on the stairs through the window.
7) I absolutley love flowers and gardening, but what I love the most are wildflowers. I think that there is something so precious about how they can bring beauty to the most random places. They are wonderful.

Since Robyn tagged the people that I would have tagged I just reinforce the fact that they should do it! It's kinda fun :)

give me a home where the buffalo roam

I know you have been all biting at the bit, checking my blog every other hour, wondering when the next time I was going to share my writings with the world. Well, wait no longer, I have returned from my two week abyss in Alberta and am brimming with stories to tell.

Warning, these blogs will most likely be a novel, you can skim it if you want or just ignore it. I'm kinda writing this for my own sake so that when im 65 years young I can show this to my kids and prove to them that they have an extremely hip mom and so that I can remember these past two weeks, because I never want to forget them. Ever.

It all started off with a chugging of a litre of pink lemonade. My bladder thanked me for this in about 1.5 hours and since I was too scared to use the bathroom on the plane it kept thanking me for the next 3 hours. No one even suspected that I was new flyer, not even when I had to ask how to recline my chair or the fact that I had my face pressed against the window the whole time - you would be suprised what you can see... clouds, clouds, clouds, and the occasional city blow up in Saskatoon. I peeled my face away from the window for about half and hour to watch an episode of The Office, I think I might have laughed a little to loud for plane curtisy, because the guy next isle over asked me what I was watching.

When I landed in Calgary, I suddenly realised how big the airport was and the fact that I didn't tell Tim what flight I was on... so needless to say I was never so happy to see the face Tim over all the cowboy hats roming around. Ryan's flight arrived at pretty much the same time mine did, I swear out planes almost collided on landing, but I gave the pilot the heads up that a WestJet flight was coming in just in the knick of time. Airport reunions are sweet like honey.

Tim's brother (forever remembered as the cake eater) drove us all to the city of Lethbridge. It was a pretty stellar trip with cigar smoke lingering in the air, the famous 7/11, discovering that Tim Horten's took debit, and gas fights.
Our first stop in Lethbridge will be remembered with a crazy hoolagan running towards us with big hair and then jumping on his sweet car - how I missed you Matt. Next stop Robyn and the Wonderbread truck - golden reunion (with Robyn). I had to pinch myself a couple of times that night/morning to make sure that Robyn was actually standing there infront of me.

Even though we stayed up early enough to see Robyn's dad off to work, the next morning I awoke at 7am. I like to blame it on the time change but really I think it was more of a kid on their birthday moment. Once everyone else woke up we went to eat breakfast at the most happening restaraunt in town, Smitty's. With our bellies full of delicious toast and eggs we decided that it would be a good time to go bridge jumping off a '20 foot' bridge. We spent the rest of the afternoon there just catching up with eachother, watching a dead bunny float by, dogs play by the riverside, and just relaxing in the sun. Tim played soccer that night, so we all went to watch and were impressed that we knew this guy. I even tried out coaching from the side lines, teaching them that clustering like grapes is not a good idea. After the game we went out for drinks and then spent the night at the classic hang out spot, sharing stories and getting to know Jordan, Lindsay, and Josh for the first time.

Since the guys did not invite us to Edmonton to watch Canada play soccer, Robo and I had a day to ourselves. I finally got to experience the coolies first hand. On the way down we saw an old abandoned shack and a random door that lead to nowhere - although I bet it was a door that leads to a whole new world... Once we got to the bottom there was a river of glacier water so we went for a dip with King (Robyn's dog). For some reason if he ever felt the need to dry himself off he would stand between me and Robyn and shake. That afternoon we went shopping and I managed to get my name called over the intercom... super. The night was spent with the family watching the soccer game on TV, scanning the crowds for the crazy fans that we knew. Once it got dark out Robyn and I just lay outside on her lawn looking up at the massive sky filled with stars talking about life... incredible.

We woke up to the sound of Levi pelting Sarah and her friends with an airsoft gun, I thought it was funny, but I am not sure Josh felt the same way. Today we were heading off to go camping in the hoodoes. On the way there we encountered this huge bridge that was built with the sole reason of supporting vechicles across a raging river, but somehow the guys thought it was meant for jumping off of. So needless to say I watched my friends (even Robyn) plummet 40 feet into water. I must admit it looked awesome and at times like that I wish I wasn't scared of falling to my death from such great heights. Once we got to our campsite we were welcomed by a friendly deer, which I would have tamed if it wasn't for the guys making fun - it was a sensative dear. Since it was a scorcher of a day we spent all afternoon 'swimming' in Milk river. We almost made a sandcastle too, but that was just an empty suggestion. After supper we went to the hoodoes to check them out, the guys thought it would be great to jump them and Ryan managed to give me heart failure. After this escapade the guys thought it would be great to give the Park Rangers an interesting night by skinny dipping in the river. Meanwhile me and Robyn started the killer fire, Robo manned the ax and I tore down a tree with my bare hands. - Pause for you to be impressed -

The next morning I woke up thinking it was about 9am when it was really 6am... those years in GEMS did not teach me how to read the sun. So I read some, took a nice stroll, and waited for everyone else to stop 'wasting' their day by sleeping in till noon ie. 10am. Matt took a little longer to wake up, so the guys collapsed the tent on him and the family that was getting water from the tap near by was greeting with the sight of a Matt walking half asleep in his boxers. Once everyone was rip roaring to go, we went on a hike to through Writing on Stone. Matt tried his lot at being the trail blazer, but I must admit I was a little more qualified to lead the hike than he. We went for a swim to cool down from the hike and then flaked out on the beach until it was time to go. On the way back Ryan had the sweet idea to make a rocking playlist, each picking 6 songs - all I have to say is that my friends have great taste in music and the last 3 songs were classic. That night we went to see Transformers in theatre, me and Robyn decided against going all hardcore and left our transformer outfits at the house. It was a great movie, exceeded my expectations by far, and I even had to hold back on the urge to go and buy a transformer toy.

hmmm... when I said novel I guess I wasn't joking, man a living i think im getting carried away here, so im going to stop for now and go to bed.

how can i keep from singing