I'm still fighting it

401

Some want to call it the 'Highway of Heroes,' some use it as their race track while others (slow drivers and truckers) shouldn't use it, but for me the 401 is something entirely different...

Ever since I finished reading the Chronicles of Narnia, I have been in search of my own wardrobe. I've always wanted to discover my own little door that would open up and transport me into a whole different world. Well, I have found my wardrobe. It is not near as exciting or wonderful, but it is the place where I go to be transported back and forth between my two worlds - the 401. Although there is something unique about my wardrobe. The worlds are equally wonderful, equally as hard leave, and equally loved.

This summer has been incredible. Being at home with my family and reconnecting with friends has been great. I have even loved my 'job.' I put in quotation marks because it hasn't felt like work at all; I have big sister and friend now and I have lost my heart to four little girls and I don't know what I am going to do without the daily little hugs, pictures, and stories.

If I could change one thing about the 401 it would be this. It would be A LOT shorter, so that my two worlds would not be so far apart and I could come back and visit more often.

camp

It was going to be a no go; for the first time in 8 years I wouldn't be packing my bags with the classic camp wear of long socks, silly shirts, and shorts made for speed, heading off to Camp Adonai. But then suddenly, spontanteously, and very last minute (like most things in my life) I decided that there was no way I could miss it, it just wouldn't be right. Thankfully, they found a spot for me and in about 5 days the tides turned from no go to for sho!*

As we drove up the twisty lane up to Ye Old Kitchen, my insides were filled with a warm fuzzy feeling, camp is one of my most favourite places to be in the whole wide world. Now at this point I could attempt to tell you all about my time at camp, but I really don't think I would do it justice, so I'll just give you a glimpse...

The week entailed:
- One very hyper boy who would eat sugar for breakfast, literally.
- Many conversations about passing gas... thanks to Ed and Natalie
- Screaming lungs out at campfire with the kids
- Almost leading about 35 kids down the wrong 'path' on the hike... good thing for a GPS that I had no idea how to use.
- Watching a little boy who told me that he could run down the steep hill ahead of us flip head over heals the whole way down instead (the only thing hurt was his pride).
- Getting thrown into the lake only 3 times.
- Eating tons of bribery candy and getting sweet notes and songs everyday... the perks of being a Cabin Inspector
- Destroying Ed in a wrestling match.
- Pillow fights
- Laughing until my gut was about to split about once a day.

On the very last day of camp, while we were all singing in the chapel, I realised something. I could just imagine God just smiling down at His kids, watching them sing out their little hearts, dancing and clapping their hands. I was struck with the reason why I keep coming back to this place and the reason while I will continue to until I am absolutely unable to do so. Camp is a such a unique place where kids can meet with God. They experience Him when they are splashing eachother in a water fight, when they are sliding down the soap slide, when they are capturing the flag, when they are loosing their voice at campfire, when they are finishing their fifth chocolate bar of the day, or when they are singing all together in chapel. It is such a priviledge to be part of this, to be able to touch kids lives and show them a side to their God that they might never experience anywhere else. Seeing the smiles, hearing the laughter, wiping the tears, giving the hugs, and just listening to them is reward enough for me, everything else is just an added bonus.


*excuse the gangster language, it rhymed so I used it.

postsecret

I was watching 'The Hour' tonight and this was on it. I found it pretty fascinating so I'm sharing it with you.

It's a website where this guy (Frank) posts secrets that people annoymously send to him on a homemade postcard.

Some are funny, some are dirty, some are heart gripping. I don't really know how to describe it other than that...

Check it out for yourselves http://postsecret.blogspot.com/.

you catch me if I'm falling

Ever had a dream where you were falling headlong into complete darkness, but woke with a start, heart pounding, before you hit bottom?
Ever played the game where you stood on top of a picnic table and made yourself fall backwards into someone's arms?
Ever fell from the top of a three story treefort only to be saved be two random branches at the bottom?

Falling. It is a concept that is hardly ever met with anticipation and willingness. Falling is frightening. Why this fear? Could it be because we are not confident that someone will be there to break our fall? And then what happens if you are unwillingly pushed into a situation that leaves you spiraling, with no other choice but to trust that you will be caught, that you will be upheld, so that you will not be devestated.

In no way will I say that it was worth it, that it is justified, and that it will ever make sense. Loosing Craig is, and will continue to be, one of the hardest things I have ever had to experience. Although, I heard something on the radio the other day that sank deep, allowing a peace to settle, and it to become a little more clear.

The talk was on why God would ever let His children to be tried by fire. I have to admit that I didn't pay attention to the whole thing. It was a long drive home and I was distracting myself by pretending that I was a racecar driver on the last victory lap. But it was almost as if the man's voice got a little more louder, a little more passionate, and these ringing words brought me back to reality with a start.
" These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1 Peter 1:7).

Ever felt like you couldn't trust God? I know I have. In fact, at the beginning of the summer I was brutally honest and wrote a whole list of things that I couldn't trust Him with.

Craig's death pushed me and I was forced to fall, left with no other choice by to trust that someone was going to be there. I did not hit bottom and I was not devestated. He was there. He broke my fall, my faith upheld me, and made me realise that what I had was real. The hope that only He can give allows me to still be able to filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy. It is not easy, but it proved that I can trust Him.

You catch me if I'm falling.